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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Be a Better Husband 
The key to reinvigorating your marriage isn't as hard you might think


You know how the story goes between couples: Over time, husband and wives become a little too familiar, and stop showing each other how much they care. You don't hold her hand; she's not very interested in sex. Meaningless arguments become common. Suddenly, you're living more like annoyed roommates than passionate lovers. But here's the good news: You can turn back to the clock to the way it once was. It just takes a little effort, and it starts with you. Use these 6 strategies to be the man of her dreams once again.
  1. Compliment Her in Public
  2. Tell her how great her body looks. "If a woman's body image is low," says Love, "she'll feel less passionate and sexual." But here's the key: Do it in public. "It'll emphasize your commitment," says Patricia Love, Ed.D., the appropriately named coauthor of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. "Making her feel more secure and ultimately improving her body image."

  3. Show Some Effort
  4. One of the best things about women is that they really appreciate the smallest sign that you're trying. And that you respect what they do. Here's a strategy: Try walking into a room with the mindset of the person (your wife) who spends a good chunk of time cleaning it. Ask yourself, "If I were a neat freak, what would bother me in here?" Suddenly, the unwashed coffee cup on the counter, the kids' sneakers under the table, and the metro section crumpled on the couch will reveal themselves to you. Act accordingly: It'll take just seconds, but over time, the payoff can be exponential.

  5. Lock Lips Every Morning
  6. Don't walk out the door without a see-you-later kiss. "Skin-on-skin contact releases oxytocin, which lowers stress and makes you feel connected," says Love. "When a man is touch-deprived, this need becomes sexualized, making his wife think he just wants sex, and creating more tension." You only need to set aside 1 minute a day. "It takes just a few seconds of skin-on-skin contact a few times a day to start oxytocin production," says Love. A kiss in the morning, a hug after work, and another kiss before bed can produce a lasting feeling of intimacy.

  7. Put Your Hands on Her
  8. Nonsexual touch is a potent, underused endorsement of another soul. As you pass by her on the way to the living room, give her upper arm a quick, affectionate double squeeze. As you're walking into a party or to your table, put a guiding hand, lightly but surely, on her lower back. When she's standing at the sink doing the dishes, come up behind her and give her a kiss on the back of her head. But don't linger or give the hint of pelvic urge. She'll get cranky if she suspects you're cruising for dessert while she's scraping chicken gunk off a baking dish. Your message is only this: "I'm a lucky man." She'll feel valued.

  9. Do More Chores 
  10. In a recent Montclair State University study of nearly 7,000 married couples, sexual frequency increased 0.06 percent a year for every 1 percent increase in weekly housework that husbands handled. The average woman without kids does 10 hours more housework a week than her husband. If you picked up just 5 additional hours, it would yield nine additional romps in the hay each year, so grab a dishrag already. "Too much housework, like anything that causes stress, decreases blood flow to the genitals," says Love. "Approach her at the sink and say, 'I'll take care of that.' Your reward will come later." And besides: Who decided that she has to empty the dishwasher?

  11. Laugh at Her
  12. Among the most affirming things one person can do for another is to laugh at the other's attempts at humor. Lots of husbands, over time, forget this salute. What's that you say? Your wife isn't funny? So what? Neither is your dolt of a boss, but you laugh at his lame attempts. Why? Because you're trying to prove you respect him. Bingo! One of the biggest dangers mature marriages face is that Homer and Marge stop trying to demonstrate their respect for each other. Laughter is tonic for a woman's woes. Keep it on display.

Credit : menhealth

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